Today, I had a bad dream, I dreamed that bad people came into my house and tried to take me. It was really scary so I went into mommy's bed! As I laid there mommy noticed me looking at something in the mirror on the wall. I kept pointing things out for mommy but she just couldn't see them. There were birds, a little boy wearing jeans and lots of other little people singing, dancing and making silly faces. I watched and giggled for about an hour. Mommy could tell that I really saw something but no matter how hard I tried to show her what I saw she just couldn't see. The sun came up and then they were all gone. I was a bit disappointed that my "puppet show" was over. A few minutes later I rolled over and started crying. Mommy asked me what was wrong but I didn't know. I said that when I close my eyes and open them, I'm crying. Mommy hugged me and said that's ok, it happens and it won't stay like this forever.
This afternoon, mommy was folding some laundry on her bed. When she went to walk out of her room, she almost tripped over me. I was outside of her door just laying there crying.
She picked me up right away and while she picked me up this picture was accidentally taken. The little rainbow was kind of cool. As if it was a message to say....it's ok....there is hope and brighter days ahead!
Today was just a really hard day. Mommy hates finding me like this. I need these moments though. Each one is a step closer to smiling again.
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Mommy feels so guilty sometimes for letting me get so close to Nene, knowing she was so sick. She feels somewhat responsible for my pain and sorrow but I won't ever be this close to another person and what I shared with Nene was so special, maybe I will grow up to be a better person because of the love we shared.
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