Day 15

Today, I have been happy and laughing more like my normal self.  Emu started his day in tears.  He wouldn't say why he was crying but he was very sad this morning.  We are beginning to get back into our routine, though our days are still starting later and our nights are ending later, but we are gradually getting there.  Macaw and I have been finding other people to talk to on the phone and so has mommy.  We all are missing Nene so very much. 

Life will never be the same.  We struggle with finding a way to move on but we know we have to.  

Day 14

Today, we finally got back into a more normal routine.  Emu was struggling during our lesson.  Mommy got a bit frustrated with him because he wasn't participating very much.  We sat and waited for him to cooperate.  We waited for about 30-45 minutes.  Then he went over to our whiteboard to start to draw.  He looked up and said "What are we going to do without Nene?"  He had the most pitiful confused look on his face.  Emu has showed no emotion towards Nene's death....he hasn't cried, he hasn't asked very many questions.  This was the first time he really spoke of it.  Mommy just said that we have to do the best we can.  Then he asked how Poppy will eat.  He was so worried about that.  

Day 12

Our weekend was pretty uneventful.  We worked on preserving our flowers from the funeral.  There's just something about keeping the very last thing we have left from her.  We looked into having this professionally done, but at a cost of $39 for one ornament, or $46 just to have one flower enclosed in a dome...it wasn't something we could afford to do.  So, after much research, we opted to give it a go at preserving them ourselves.  We opted for the silica gel method and used the microwave as well.  So far...this seems to have worked.  After drying all of the roses from one arrangement, we then put them in a container of the silica gel to try and ensure that they are completely dry.

We each got a rose from the casket spray that sat atop of Nene's casket.  Those roses are being put into a glass bulb ornament as a keepsake for each of us to have.  Mommy isn't real sure how to go about this process as the internet has very conflicting ideas.  We filled one ornament with fresh petals, it doesn't seem to be drying out very well, so we aren't going to do anymore that way.  Mommy decided that as the petals dry, we will put them into the ornaments, she is hoping that by doing it this way we can get the petals into the ornament without them crumbling too much.  

Today, I've been looking quite down.  I found a few pictures that I had made for Nene before she was gone.  It seems this was a difficult discovery for me and I hope that I don't find anything else that I never go the chance to give to her.  I also found a picture that I wanted to take to put in her casket and I found that I forgot to take it.  Mommy says that we can take it to Nene's grave when we go and visit.  

It's so hard to believe that it's been two weeks today since we've talked to Nene.  Time is going by so fast.  It's hitting all of us...just not being able to pick up the phone to call her when we want.  Mommy has had to start calling friends and family to try and fill the void of not being able to talk to her.  It seems me and Macaw are feeling it too.  We keep asking if we can call our Godmother. Mommy never really thought of us missing this even though she misses it so...but Nene is the only person we talked to on the phone too.